We have sailed on the Queen Mary 2 once before, in 2008, on a Caribbean cruise, and I had lots of frustrations with the crowds and the people in general and just the fact that this is not a luxury cruise line like we are used to. So I decided to approach this voyage with very low expectations. I had only two hopes: that I would sleep well, as I usually do being rocked to sleep on a ship, and that maybe I would see a few movies. I was expecting the embarkation process to be a nightmare, so for me it actually wasn’t so bad. There was air conditioning and a chair to sit in and I amused myself listening to podcasts, the only bother being the man who smelled like hummus who kept wandering over to where we were sitting and looking out of the window. We had chosen chairs far away from the crowds of people and I noted that we seemed to have self-selected into the “Friends of Dorothy” section, seated in between two gay male couples. We also were sitting against the window that looked out onto the ship and the gangway so a lot of people began wandering our way and leaning towards us and peering out the window when the gangway became disconnected. I assume this was not a dramatic event – I missed it – I think people were just checking the progress of getting it hooked back up especially when it became clear there was no way we would be able to sail away at 4:30. I believe it took us three hours in all to get on the ship but I was listening to Terry Gross interview Toni Morrison, who at one point said something that Terry found so funny that she snorted – I love it when Terry Gross snorts – so I was perfectly happy.

Once on the ship we dumped our stuff in our room, and then went up to the buffet to get something to eat. I went for roast beef, yorkshire pudding and roasted potatoes – which were all a little subpar – and also chose a macaron – those pretty colored pastries with cream in the middle. I have always wanted to try one and never had and I enjoyed my macaron enough that I went and got another. While we were eating we perused the Daily Program. The movie playing in the planetarium was Selma, which I would really like to see, but I knew I was too tired to sit in a movie theater that evening. There are also movies playing on the television. There are three different channels: documentary, comedy, and drama, with a schedule of movies for each day. I thought it was kind of funny that the drama movie that started off our cruise was Captain Phillips. At least it wasn’t the Titanic or The Poseidon Adventure.

Mary and I started out together on deck. It was cold out there and we were dressed for it. I have a blue plaid shirt that is flannelly on the outside and polar fleece on the inside – quite warm – and I put that on and tied my windbreaker around my waist. It was a little after 5 pm, not yet 6:00 when one is supposed to get into nicer clothing, and as we were waiting for the elevator this woman came around the corner, saw me in my flannel plaid, did a double-take, and then quickly composed her face into a very disapproving look and continued to give me the stink-eye as we waited for the lift. I laughed and whispered to Mary that I was getting the stink-eye, but I did decide to retire my flannel shirt for the remainder of the cruise. Even though that woman had no manners, dirty looks are a bit wounding to my sensitive soul.

Once outside we were among our people again – dressed appropriately for the weather and excitedly running from place to place to snap pictures and point out things, many of us grinning like maniacs when the ships got close to each other. But I was weary and knew I could not stay out there as long as Mary so I went back to the room and took off my offending flannel and then went down to the dining room to introduce myself to our waiter and get the menus for the next day because I have requested dairy-free meals. Then I went up to the buffet and had a meal of penne pasta bolognese with some sort of olive roll and salad. For dessert I selected something that looked like a tiny little meringue with half a strawberry and some pineapple on it and I brought that and some ice water back to the room.

Back in the room I opened the door to our balcony and alternately unpacked and paused to look outside at the last bit of land we will see for a week. Around 7:30 our room steward, Albert, knocked on the door and was unable to hide his dismay that I was in the room, in my pajamas. He kept asking, “Did you change your dining time?” and did not seem reassured by my claim that we had not changed our dining time, but had decided not to eat in the restaurant that night. The beds had been made up as two twins, despite our travel agent’s request for one king, so I asked him if he could put the beds together but told him he didn’t need to do it that night. In fact, I said, we don’t really need anything. This seemed to upset him so I agreed with him that we needed turndown and tried to stay out of his way while he did his work.

Mary came back to the room eventually and about 9 pm I had my meringue treat which also turned out to have some cream in it and it was DIVINE! I love meringue and kept seeing these gigantic meringues while we were in London so on my last night I bought one and managed to eat close to half of it, but it was way too much. My little treat of last night was perfect!

I climbed into the nice soft bed, a real treat after the very hard bed we had in London, started reading the New York Times from April 22, which I carried with me to both Italy and London, and turned the light out at 10:30. We woke up around 8 am but got to turn the clocks back one hour as we will do tomorrow morning also, so it was only 7 am and I had had 9 1/2 hours of sleep!

In our everyday life, we have a morning routine which involves waking up, pulling out our tablets and reading our email and the news and doing general aimless web surfing before breakfast. We bought an internet package last night of 260 minutes for $89.95, which works out to approximately 20 minutes each a day. (Ususally you get 240 minutes for $89.95, but we got 20 extra minutes for signing up on the first day.) This is not high-speed internet. It is achingly slow, so I know all I will be able to do in that time is check my email and upload to the blog. In anticipation of this internet withdrawal I have loaded podcasts onto my phone and downloaded the two latest issues of the New Yorker onto my tablet, plus my Kindle is loaded full of books. So first thing this morning I started reading The New Yorker instead of aimlessly surfing the internet, and it was kind of nice!

Before breakfast I showered. The fixtures in the bathroom are old and don’t look particularly clean, though I think they probably are pretty clean. We were provided with two bath towels, not particularly big ones, so I left a note for Albert asking for one additional towel. Then we went upstairs to the Kings Court Buffet for breakfast. I love Greek Yogurt and fruit in the morning and I didn’t see any Greek Yogurt so I asked if they had any. The headwaiter told me they have to get it from way deep in the ship somewhere and they couldn’t have any for me today but starting tomorrow they will have it hidden away in the Chef’s Galley and I can ask for it each morning. For today I had hard boiled eggs and American bacon and sausage and a roll. I think it’s a pretty good brakfast spread. We wandered around the ship a bit, including going to the library and book store. There is going to be a book club meeting later in the cruise to discuss a novel called Elizabeth Is Missing. It sounded interesting so I asked about it and was able to borrow a copy from the library. Then we came back to the room which hadn’t been made up yet so the prudent thing to do was to crawl back into bed. I started reading my New Yorker again and propped the balcony door open so we could hear the surf and I was asleep by 10:30.

I woke up at noon when the ship’s horn blew and the Captain made his daily announcement. We can’t hear the announcement in our room, which is great, but we turned on the tv to the ship’s channel so we could hear what he had to say. He let us know that we are heading into some nasty weather, most of it overnight. Mary took a shower and we were almost ready to leave for lunch when poor Albert arrived to clean our room and was again disappointed to find us present. We told him we’d be leaving in 15 minutes, but Mary, who answered the door with a towel on her head, reported that he didn’t seem very happy. We had lunch in the dining room at a shared table, with a young British couple, Charlotte and Richard and two older men from Stockholm who said they were brothers.

One of the items on the dessert menu is Spotted Dick, which we knew is a British dessert but didn’t know exactly what it is. I asked Richard and Charlotte what it is, and Richard told us that it is like a sponge cake with raisins in a custard sauce and that it is a fairly heavy dessert. Both Mary and Richard ordered the spotted dick and then Mary asked him, “Is your spotted dick a good specimen?” Oh, that Mary! Richard looked a little taken aback but then answered her question and then I saw him suppressing a laugh and whispering to his wife.

After lunch we decided to take a walk around the promenade on deck 7 before the storms arrive. We walked three laps, which is equal to one mile. Cunard has changed their smoking policy since we were last on the ship. People are no longer allowed to smoke in their rooms or on their balconies, which is great, but now the smoking area is the outside back of the ship on Decks 7 and 8. This means that anyone walking or jogging around the promenade has to pass through a cloud of cigarette smoke every 1/3 of a mile, which is a bit unpleasant.

Mary has been wanting to play $1 blackjack ever since we were in Vegas and we found a place with a dollar table but she could never get a seat at that table. The Daily Program for today, though, advertised $1 blackjack at 3:30, so I followed Mary down to the casino and sat with her at the $1 Fun 21 table and watched her play for about 45 minutes until I was kicked out of my chair by someone who wanted to actually gamble and not just watch. The casino is now completely non-smoking and that was a nice surprise. When I left the casino I went up to the buffet and had a scone with clotted cream and jam, the treat I was denied as we searched for it our last day in London. I added a butterscotch chip cookie just for good measure. Mary got back to the room about 4:30. She reports that she was up while I was at the blackjack table but lost when I left. (So sweet, see how we’re meant to be together?) (Note from Mary: All true, but I doubled down on my last hand and hit it, so now I’m up 50 cents.)

Now we are back in our stateroom enjoying the movement of the ship, the sound of the waves, and the blue sky out our window. There is even sunshine on the balcony. This is heaven. This is why we love cruising.

Bear with us as we move back and forth in time. Though we haven’t written much yet about yesterday or the day before, right now I’m going to tell you about today. Right now it is 8:55 pm in Santa Margherita de Ligure and we are in our hotel room. We have a balcony that overlooks the sea and it has been a stormy day. We have the balcony doors open so we can hear the surf, one of my most favorite sounds in the world. There are also some birds singing, which I find curious and lovely. I’ve rarely heard birds singing after dark.

Last night was stormy also and we slept all night with the balcony doors open. There are great big wooden shutters that you can pull shut to block out some of the street noise – we are on a busy street and occasionally people congregate down below and talk, or there is the sound of an ambulance rushing by. Our shutters were closed but the door was open and the sound of the surf was wonderful. Mary went to sleep last night around 11 and I stayed up reading until 12 and then couldn’t fall asleep until 1. I woke up at what I imagined to be about 7 and went to the bathroom and was heading back to bed to check the time on my travel clock when the phone rang. That was strange! I wondered if there was some sort of emergency. “Hello?” I picked up my phone. “Buon Giorno!” said my father. “Oh my God, what time is it?” I replied. “Did you just wake up?” he asked? “It’s 10:30. You missed breakfast!”

He thought we should go to the aquarium in Genoa today and there was a train leaving at 11:something and the next one was at 12:something. I was barely awake and Mary was not awake, so I said I’d talk to Mary and call him back. I saw it was 10:20 something and I REALLY didn’t want to miss breakfast. I pulled on some clothes and went flying downstairs. Usually I attempt to communicate with the waiters solely in Italian, but this morning I said, in English, “I’m so sorry. I just woke up. Can I get some breakfast and bring it back to the room?” I thought this would be less of a problem for the waitstaff. But that is not the done thing here and they assured us we could still sit and eat. In my rush I had forgotten to bring my dairy digest pills so my options were quite limited. I had two hard boiled eggs and some rye krisp – quite the low calorie breakfast but that can hardly make up for all that we’ve been eating. I also hadn’t brought my phone but Mary had brought hers so I used her phone to text my Dad and ask if we could get the 12:something train.

We had time to shower and dress properly and then we were off to the train station in the pouring rain where we caught the train to Genoa (Genova). My father wanted us to get sandwiches in the train station but Iris wanted to sit down so we compromised by going to a restaurant across the street and getting sandwiches. The sandwiches were all pre-made and most of them included cheese and I preferred non-dairy, but Mary and I decided to split a salami and cheese on focaccia with Mary taking all the cheese.  That sandwich was molto delizioso and I was still hungry after eating my half. (It wasn’t loaded with salami.) Iris suggested I get chips but I wanted another sandwich and talked Mary and my father into sharing with me. I went up to the counter and began by saying, “In Italiano…” and I then attempted to do the entire transaction in Italian. I’ve been doing this everywhere I can. Yesterday the housekeeper came by and asked when to come back and I said, “Dietsche e tre” which makes no sense. Another housekeeper behind her said, “Three o’clock?” and I said, “No, one-o’clock.” Then I got back into the room and realized I should have said “tre-dici.”  So later I saw the housekeeper and said, “No Dietsche e tre, dici-tre!!” all proud of myself. She smiled.  You might notice that I still said it wrong. The housekeeper probably went to her colleagues and said, however you say it in Italian, “Goddamn Americans!”

Anyway, I was more successful with the guy at the counter – he understood me and seemed to enjoy speaking Italian with me – and he soon brought us a delicious schnitzel and tomato sandwich cut up into four pieces, of which I got two. Then a few minutes later he brought some focaccia with onion and said to me, “This is a present. It is a specialty of our region.” I choose to believe that I had charmed him and that was why he brought the present. When we left I said to him, “Nui piace molti!” Which means “We like a lot!” and he said something like ,”Thank you for the compliment,” and then he said, in Italian, that I speak Italian perfectly, a very sweet lie. Then the only other woman in the restaurant said to me, “Oh non lui” – which translates to “not him” which I took to mean, “Don’t believe him.” Did she realize she was saying I DON’T speak Italian perfectly? The nerve!

Next we got a cab to the acquarium. As we entered the acquarium so did two large groups of schoolchildren, which did not bode well. In fact there were even more schoolchildren inside. The place was overrun. It made the visit a bit more tiring, but it was still really great – the best acquarium I’ve ever been to, but I haven’t been to many acquariums. There were huge tanks with sharks and dolphins and frogs and turtles and alligators and tropical fish and coral and penguins.  You follow a route and can’t just wander back and forth so there was no way to escape the hordes of children, EVER. At one point a young boy came up to me and said, “Scusi, something something something something” in Italian.  I said, “Come?” and he repeated himself. I said, “No parlo Italiano,” and he got this big smile and said, “Scusi,” and sort of bowed to me and walked away. He was quite adorable, but I have no idea what he was asking.

We were pretty exhausted by the time we got to the end of the exhibits. I was thinking a nice glass of airborne would be just the thing. I saw a little display with samples of Ricola and a woman with an ipad asking people questions, and though everyone else moved past it, I was going to get me some Ricola, even if I didn’t speak Italian. She asked me questions in English and I attempted to answer in Italian. They were just marketing questions for the acquarium… where are you from? when did you decide to come here? do you think it costs too much? When we had answered all her questions, I snagged some Ricola – one was licorice flavored and the other was Sambuca – elderberry – which I popped into my mouth and I’m sure it greatly enhanced my immune system.

Iris and Mary were in the mood for coffee and pastry but there didn’t seem to be any good place at the acquarium or outside the acquarium, so we got a cab back to the train station and got the train back to Santa Margherita. By then it was after 5 and my Dad asked if we wanted to have an early dinner, which I very enthusiastically agreed to. We’ve been eating late – 7:30 or later and I definitely prefer an earlier meal. Not many places are open here for dinner before 7 or 7:30 but Dad knew of a place and I was very surprised when we went into a restaurant we have been passing all week, strangely named My Boyfriend is Out of Town.  I would not have chosen that restaurant, based on the name alone, but it was very good, maybe my favorite of all the places we’ve eaten.

One of the things that we never learned even though we did over 40 Italian lessons is how to say you’re sorry! However, I learned how to say it when a restaurant owner apologized to us a few nights ago for not having any space for us even though she had said we didn’t need a reservation. Since then I’ve used it a few times. As soon as we sat down at My Boyfriend Is Out of Town, I asked for directions to il bano (bathroom) and I actually understood one word of the response, which was LEFT so I turned left in the direction the waitress pointed and found the tiny one room unisex bathroom that most of the restaurants here have. When I returned from il bano the waitress came to ask if we were ready to order and my father said yes, but I said no, because I hadn’t even seen the menu yet and didn’t want to feel rushed. However, everyone was very hungry and once I had decided and there was no waitress, my father banged his knife on his glass, to which Iris exclaimed, “Roger!” and I exclaimed, “Dad!” The waitress came running and heard us admonishing him and I said to her, “Mi dispiace!” which made her laugh.

Our meal was fantastico. The bread was delicious, as was my insalata mista (mixed salad). The salads here come undressed and the only choice for dressing is the olive oil and balsamic vinegar they bring to the table. I kind of love not having to ask for dressing on the side because I think most American restaurants overdress their salads. Mary and I shared minestrone soup and trofie pesto. Trofie pesto is one of the specialties of this region and it is a spirally shaped pasta with pesto sauce. I have had it at least four times since we’ve been here and it is very good, but this was my favorite of all of them as the pasta was a little more al dente. The minestrone soup was very different. It was a pesto base with potatoes, green beans, celery, zucchini, mushrooms and carrots.  It was very delicious. We decided against dessert in favor of gelato at one of the many gelaterias. There is a gelato store approximately every 2 blocks in this town and we have visited many of them. It was hard to believe it was 6 pm and we hadn’t yet had any gelato!! Sadly, though probably my stomach would not agree, all but one of the gelato stores were closed and the one that was open didn’t look all that great so we came back to the hotel sans dessert!

Spoiler alert: Something bad happened on Grey’s Anatomy last Thursday.  Mary and I wanted to watch it but our Watch ABC app wouldn’t work in Italy and neither would our Xfinity TV app. So Mary got the brilliant idea to remote in to her desktop computer at home and watch Grey’s Anatomy from there. Back at the hotel after dinner, I sent our housesitter a text to let her know what we were doing in case she started hearing Grey’s Anatomy from Mary’s office. That might be a little alarming. Mary’s brilliant idea worked and may I just ask, are we the only two people in the world who are glad to see the end of that character?

It is 10 pm now and we have to catch a train at 10:15 tomorrow to go to Cinque Terre.  I guess we’ll have to set an alarm since that is before our wake-up time! So I am going to read now and try to settle down listening to the wonderful sound of the surf outside our balcony.

My last post ended abruptly and that’s because there was more to it that mysteriously disappeared when I added a photo of Mary’s Virgin Atlantic dinner, so here is the second half, second draft:

We arrived at the Sofitel Gatwick Airport around 11:30 am.  I had reserved a package that included a three-course dinner and breakfast. For an additional £30 we got an early check-in so we were quickly in our room. Our room had a view of the countryside as well as some of the airport and planes to the right. I had requested two twin beds because I figured we might each want our own space after the long plane ride. This was a good call. The only thing Mary wanted to do once we got to the hotel was sleep and that she did, immediately. The only thing I wanted to do was shower and I had a lovely relaxing one. I planned to then get into bed and sleep but I realized I was starving so I wandered over to the airport terminal. The Sofitel is connected to the airport so it was only a 5 minute walk. The first place I saw to eat was a place called Jamie’s, which was a coffee shop branch of a Jamie Oliver restaurant. I bought a huge sausage roll, a Greek Yogurt Parfait and a Greek salad for around £14. It was a lot of food and I figured I would eat half and then Mary could have the rest when she woke up. I brought it back to the room and ate every last bit except for a few olives and tomatoes in the salad. I guess I was hungrier than I thought! Also, the sausage roll and yogurt parfait were SO delicious!  Eating completed, I crawled into bed and slept until 5 pm. I could have slept later but I still wanted to be able to sleep that evening.

Everything I have ever read about jet lag has said to not sleep until the evening when you first arrive wherever it is you are going. I’m glad I didn’t follow that advice because I slept fine that night and was STILL tired the next day!

Anyway, we had a dinner reservation for 6:30 pm, which was the earliest the restaurant opened. The menu was pre-set. The entree choices were Confit of Gressingham Duck Leg, Pan Roasted South Bay Fish with Baby Capers, or Broad Beans Risotto. I’m not a fan of duck and the risotto sounded too rich, so I chose the fish, which the waiter said was salmon. The service was VERY slow. We had our appetizers, soup for Mary and salad for me and the waiter also brought us each an amuse bouche of tomato-pepper soup.  Then, as we were waiting for our entrees, the waiter came and said to me, “I’m very sorry, Madam, but the salmon has changed into Octopus.” He didn’t actually say, Octopus, I can’t remember the actual name of the fish, but I was amused by his phrasing and I imagined the salmon suddenly transforming into some other kind of fish. The new fish was some sort of whitefish and I was concerned that they might have to use a lot of butter to give it some taste. The waiter said he would check and then he came back and said, “The chef assures me that you will not taste the butter or know it is there.”

“But there is butter?” I asked.

“Yes, but very little, ” he said.

We eventually got our entrees and my first taste of my fish was of butter as was the taste of the greens underneath the fish. I didn’t even try the “butter mash” that was the third part of the entree. The meal was so rich I could only eat a few bites. Mary’s risotto was also quite rich. By now we had been in the restaurant for almost two hours so we asked to bring dessert back to the room. We both chose Pot Au Chocolate, which was a huge amount of chocolate mousse and also incredibly rich. I have such a sweet tooth but I couldn’t even finish the dessert. We very much enjoyed the Sofitel but probably wouldn’t go for the dinner package in the future.

We were asleep by 9:30 and up at 5 am so we could get breakfast and get over to the terminal for our 7:50 am flight to Genoa. The breakfast buffet was lovely. My stomach was still recovering from the meal the night before so I only had some fabulous Greek yogurt and grapes and I purloined a mini baguette for later consumption on the plane.

I will end with something Mary said at dinner, which seemed very poetic to me so we have turned it into a poem:

Sofitel Restaurant on 3 Hours Sleep

the sun is in my eyes and I can’t see anything. It’s like I’m the only person who exists.

Our flight to London on Virgin Atlantic was lovely. At JFK there was a long line to get through security and I amused myself by texting back and forth with our friend, Jane, who happened to send a text while we were waiting. Each time my phone beeped because of the incoming text, the woman in front of me would turn around and give me the stink-eye. She looked like she was having to hold herself back from throttling me when I read one of the texts aloud to Mary. There came a point where the line broke up into two and I chose the longer line because she chose the other line and I could actually empathize with her hatred of me. She’ll most likely never know the sacrifice I made for her.

Our seats were in Premium Economy and they were the first two seats when we got on the plane. We had no one in front of us to lean back into us and we had TONS of leg room. In fact, we had probably a 100 square foot area all to ourselves for most of the flight. We could have done yoga or pilates on the floor if we wanted to. They offered us champagne or orange juice when we boarded and then later brought hot towels and dinner and, after dinner, brought around brandy and something that was like Bailey’s but fruity. I chose the latter and it was delicious. We also received amenity kits with a toothbrush, toothpaste, socks, a pen, earplugs, and an eyemask. After dinner I watched “Finding Vivian Maier” on the inflight video system and then, when my eyes started to close on me I put on the eyemask and managed to sleep until I was woken up by the delivery of breakfast – scrambled eggs, potatoes, English bacon and a blueberry muffin. Soon we were at Heathrow and though First Class was supposed to debark first, the flight attendants said they would let us off first. They weren’t able to accomplish that, as the First Class passengers came pushing through, but we ducked out in the middle of that group so were off the plane very quickly. Everyone ran to get to customs like they were running for their lives. Of course I took part in this madness, though Mary kept saying, “Slow down, we’ll get there.” Even with my Keeping Up With Jones’s racewalking, it took us 30 minutes or so to get through immigration. Then we met our driver from Blackberry Car Service, which I had booked online before we left Portland. He was a very sweet guy and drove us from Heathrow to the Sofitel Hotel at Gatwick.

We arrived at Newark Tuesday afternoon around 4 and had a lovely 24 hours in the Big Apple. We took the air train and the Path train to Penn Station and walked from there to our hotel, the Distrikt, which is on 40th Street between 8th and 9th Avenues. The walk was about 10 or 15 minutes through very busy rush hour streets, and I was having to conduct a business phone call at the same time. Mary enjoyed this walk very much as it made her feel like a real New Yorker.

We had a free night at The Distrikt, using Choice Privileges points, and they upgraded us to a King Grand View room. The view WAS grand, and the hotel very luxe, with robes chocolates AND chocolate brownies. They also had free hors d’oeuvres in the lounge and I had a few gyoza and edamame while waiting for Mary to come downstairs from the room.

We were only in the room about five minutes after we checked in to the hotel before we took off on foot to meet our friends Jennie and Inga at Scandinavia House for dinner. Mary and I shared Swedish Meatballs, a beet salad, and a burger and we all shared a waffle for dessert. It was fabulous as was hanging with Inga and The Rev (aka Jennie.)

We had tired feet so we took a cab back to the hotel and basically went straight to bed. We each slept about ten straight hours but were still so exhausted when we woke up at 9:30 am. We went downstairs and got breakfast and then I tried to figure out how we could spend the rest of the day lying about until our plane left at 9:30 pm. The hotel was able to give us a late checkout of 1 pm, but because of the Tribeca Film Festival there were no cheap hotels available nearby. Eventually I found that we could book the Holiday Inn Express JFK for $70 plus 15,000 ihg points. That bottomed out our points but I didn’t care.

Our friend Bob met us at the hotel at 1 and we walked down 9th Avenue looking for a place to eat. We decided on a place called Burgers and Cupcakes. I thought the burgers were so-so, but the lemon-poppy seed-blueberry cupcake Mary and I shared was divine, as was Bob’s company.

After lunch we headed back to the hotel where they were holding our luggage and then we walked with Bob to the subway where we said goodbye and Mary and I planned to catch the A train to the Howard Beach JFK station where we would then get a Uber car to the Holiday Inn Express. Bob told us we would need to get the Uptown train, which made perfect sense to us, Brooklyn being downtown, and Queens uptown. I didn’t bother to actually read the directions on my Google maps. We got an Express train, which was great, because before we were even on the train I realized I had a somewhat full bladder, and I had no intention using a subway station restroom, if such a thing even exists.

The situation was feeling more and more urgent and I knew it was about an hour’s ride to the station we needed. I wondered how many more stops we had. We weren’t near a map and I couldn’t get any signal on my phone in order to look at Google maps, but eventually I remembered I had a NY Subway app on my phone. I pulled up the app and found the stop we had just passed, 168th street. This is when I realized, to my dismay, that we were only four stops away from the end of the line, but we were going in the WRONG DIRECTION! The A line actually goes downtown and through Brooklyn before going back up to Queens.

So we got off the train at 181st street in Washington Heights and got on the A going the other direction. Now we had to get back to where we came from and then it would take close to an hour from there to get to the Howard Beach JFK stop. We weren’t in danger of missing our plane, but I was starting the question the wisdom of the hotel room plan. Mainly, though, I thought I might wet my pants on the train. I started writing this blog post in order to focus on other things, but that made me feel nauseous. So I settled in for the entertainment of the NYC subway.

The woman next to me was VERY tired and she kept falling asleep against me. People are so heavy when they are sleeping on you! It wasn’t so pleasant. Across from us was an adorable little boy in a stroller who, at every stop, once the doors were open, would say, “Waa Waa Waa. Doors are closing!” over and over again. He made most of the conscious people on the train smile. Shortly after we boarded the A train heading in the right direction, a woman came on and started loudly preaching to all of us. She had a lovely lilting accent, but eventually the preaching got old. At one point I noticed she had stopped and I looked around to see if she had gotten off the train. But it was only that her phone had rung and she then carried on a very loud phone conversation. Once she was done with her phone call she began to sing hymns, also loudly. This was contrasted by the man sitting across from her who shouted into his phone, “What do you mean what time am I getting there? I work for myself. I own my own business and I don’t have to answer to anybody. What? Yes, I want dinner…. oh, okay, I’ll be home at six.”

Finally we got to Howard Beach JFK and Mary tried to talk to me about something and I shouted at her, “I have to go to the bathroom!” Oh, what sweet relief that was when I finally found the restroom. Next, we attempted to use the Uber app to get a car to the Holiday Inn Express. I found a promotional code so that the ride was free but when I typed in the address where we should be picked up, which I figured out by just taking the address from a building across the street from us – 8 Coleman Square – the app seemed to change it to something Broadway. I was very confused and attempting to figure out whether Coleman Square was also called Broadway, when a young woman came up and said, “Are you trying to get to the airport?”

“No,” I told her. “We are trying to get to the Holiday Inn Express and I can’t figure out this Uber app. I told it to pick us up at 8 Coleman Square but it changed it to Broadway. Is this street Broadway?”

“No,” she said. “I don’t know where Broadway is.”

At this point I realized I could call our driver using the Uber app so I told her I was going to call the driver and thanked her for her help and she went wherever she was going. The driver was a little bit hard to understand – but basically he kept asking me where I was and I kept asking him where he was. Then he said, “Oh wait, I’ll ask the lady. She’s right here.” Then I heard him talking to someone and I heard her say, “Oh, I know who you’re looking for. They want to go to the Holiday Inn Express or something. I know exactly where they are. Take a right and then take a left.” Who says New Yorkers aren’t friendly and helpful?!

The driver got us to the Holiday Inn Express and we had a little less than two hours there before we went down to the lobby and got a shuttle to JFK. I thought it was a bit crazy to rent a hotel room for 2 hours, but Mary says it was money well spent just because she got to lie down on a bed for two hours.

Today is the start of the longest trip we’ve ever taken together. We were up at 2:30 am so we could get to the airport by 4:00 to catch a flight to Seattle at 5:05 am.  We have a flight to New York at 8:05 am.  However, it is now 5:49 am and we are still sitting on the tarmac, crammed into a tiny Horizon prop plane, with no projected leaving time.  Apparently there is a problem with a lightbulb. Also, someone keeps kicking the back of my seat and the person to my left keeps coughing and is surely going to get me sick.

I was already anxious – just normal pre-vacation anxiety accentuated by the fact that we are going to be gone for almost three weeks.  Now I’m more anxious.  It’s hot on this plane.

Anyway, here is our plan: we hope to arrive in New York at 4:30 this afternoon. We were planning to get breakfast in Seattle during our nice long layover and also get some lunch to carry on the plane.  Now we may be subsisting today on Kind bars and Trident gum.

In New York we are spending the night at the Distrikt Hotel near Times Square. We booked this hotel for free using Choice Privileges points.

Wednesday evening we fly Virgin Atlantic to Heathrow and when we arrive in London on Thursday we have a car scheduled to take us to Gatwick where we will spend the night at the Sofitel.

Friday morning we fly to Genoa, Italy where a car will meet us and take us to Santa Margherita where we will meet my father and stepmother.  We will spend five days in Santa Margherita with my Dad and Iris and then fly back to London where we will stay four nights at the Staybridge Suites Vauxhall. I am particularly excited about this hotel because they have a hotel labradoodle puppy named Waggers who gets excellent reviews on TripAdvisor for his friendliness.

Then on Sunday, May 3rd we board Cunard’s Queen Mary where we will spend seven nights, arriving in Brooklyn on Mother’s Day.  That evening we will fly home on Jet Blue.

At the moment we are still on the tarmac in Portland. We are told they are only waiting on paperwork now. I am so hungry.

Well, this is travel. Sometimes getting to where you’re going is a real pain in the ass.

Signing off at 6:12 am. Still on the tarmac.