When I said in a previous post that I would have my recordings of the Captain’s daily briefings posted by Sunday or Monday, Lis laughed and laughed at me – “There’s no way you’re going to have it done that soon.” And, so, she was right – here it is Wednesday afternoon, and I’m just now getting them posted. Ah, well – at least they’re here. And, for the cruise junkies (and the cruise curious) among you, I’ve included a link to pics I took of the various menus and programs we got throughout the cruise.

Thursday briefing – video is of the TV channel that broadcasts from the ship’s bridge.

Friday briefing – video is from deck 2 (maybe deck 3), where you are near the water line and get a good view of the swells. If you listen closely, you might hear me shushing people (I always get embarrassed when I shush – sometimes it just slips out before I can stop it!).

Saturday briefing – video is out our balcony window. The wind drowns out the Captain’s audio a little, but you can still hear his chipper voice droning on 🙂

Cruise documents – Daily Programmes, menus, movie listings, etc.

You may recall that Mary’s Captain told us  yesterday that we would be sailing under the Verrazano–Narrows Bridge at 5:50 am this morning.  He pointed out that this would really be 6:50 am for our bodies because we were to turn our clocks back an hour at 2 am.  Mary set her phone clock back when we went to sleep around midnight and she set the alarm for  5:30.  We both woke up around 5 and were out on deck by 5:35 am.

There were lots of people on deck lining the railings but we managed to find a place to squeeze in. Because of the F word, we couldn’t really see much – it was very thick – I believe Mary said the news was calling it Fogapolypse. It seemed like we should be nearing the time to go under the Verrazano Bridge and Mary asked someone, “Do you know if we’ve gone under the bridge yet?” but the person she asked didn’t know. I asked the man to my left and he said he didn’t know either. It seemed that most of us had just arrived and had no clue where the ship was or what was going on. At one point everyone on our side of the ship left and started running to the port side so I figured I would run over there too. Why not? To be one with the crowd, I guess. There was nothing to see, however, so I went back to Mary.  We had a little discussion with the man on my left. We seemed to be moving very slowly and at one point Mary thought we were moving backwards. So I just started walking around asking anyone who I thought looked like they spoke English (there were a lot of French and German people on the ship) if we had passed under the bridge yet. The man from my left followed me the whole time, which Mary and I thought was kind of cute. Finally I found a woman who said we had passed under the bridge almost an hour earlier!!!  What? Thanks a lot, Captain Boyfriend! We thought that maybe we had been confused by the time change, but then so was almost everyone else out there. Captain Boyfriend made a point of saying it would really be 6:50 and we have proof because Mary recorded most of the Captain’s announcements.

I’m going to interrupt myself to say that today has been a day of screaming babies. Happy Mother’s Day! There is one screaming right now on our Jet Blue airplane, there was a little boy with an amazing set of lungs on the E train on the way to JFK, and we were treated to a screaming little girl this morning in the breakfast room at the Staybridge Suites. Mary just commented that she will be glad to get home where only our cats are screaming. And they will definitely be screaming.

Anyway, the woman who got to see the Bridge as we sailed under it pulled out her camera and showed me pictures and it did look amazing, like the ship barely cleared it. I also asked the woman about the Statue of Liberty, which was why everyone ran to the port side of the ship, and she informed me that no one was able to see it through the fog. So that I can’t blame the Captain for, but giving us the wrong time for the Bridge Sailing Underneathing, I think that’s a transgression worth breaking up over. Mary, though, says she’s just highly disappointed in Captain Boyfriend but he is still her boyfriend! I guess I shouldn’t be so annoyed as I am also sometimes the beneficiary of that generous attitude.

As we were looking at the pictures of the ship passing under the bridge, we realized that we were actually docked in Brooklyn but there was so much fog we couldn’t tell at first.   We went inside to have breakfast and snagged a table by the window. We got all excited when we saw a seagull, as we had seen no animal life since last Sunday. The view was of some greenery across the water. Then Mary and this woman at another table kept getting all excited about this building they were seeing. There was a white boxy looking building on the edge of the greenery and I couldn’t really understand what they were so excited about so I kept asking, “That building over there?” and Mary would say, “Yes, that building.” Finally I just gave up trying to understand. Then, about 15 minutes later, the entire Manhattan skyline suddenly appeared and I realized they had been spotting the top of a skyscraper floating in and out of the fog. (Note from Mary: I think it was the new World Trade Center…?) And I could see some art in the greenery area and realized that we were looking at Governor’s Island. So, even though we missed the bridge, watching the city emerge from the fog was pretty great in itself. (Note from Mary: I ran around, madly snapping pics – you can see them here.)

The minute I realized we were docked I turned my phone on and started trying to figure out how we were going to spend our day. It was very exciting to be able to use my phone again after seven days of no phone – we kept our phones in airplane mode the whole time we were on the ship because calls were $5.95 a minute and I didn’t want to have to pay that should anyone happen to call us. We really wanted to get to New Rochelle and St.John’s, Wilmot Episcopal Church this morning where our friend Jennie is the Reverend. We were in New York in September to see her get ordained and we were able to go to her first service at St. John’s and we really enjoyed it and wanted to go again. But it would have been very difficult to get there by 10:30 am and we had no idea how long it would take to get through immigration once we were off the ship. We had chosen self debarkation which meant we had to carry our own bags off the ship but could get off anytime we wanted to. This seemed like a no brainer to us, but then we didn’t have a lot of luggage. Once I accepted the reality that we were not going to make it to New Rochelle, I started looking into getting a hotel for the day as our flight home didn’t leave until 8:45 pm this evening.

We had to vacate our room at 8:30 am so we went back up to the King’s Court with our luggage and the bottle of champagne we were given on embarkation and never drank, and I started making phone calls. There is a smartphone app called Hotel Tonight that lists reduced prices for hotels at the last minute. On that app I found a few hotels for under $110 and I also checked with IHG whose properties I try to stay at as much as possible because they have a great loyalty program. The Staybridge Suites Times Square, where we stayed in September, and which we loved, had rooms for $109 so I called and asked if there was any way to get into a room in the morning. The woman I spoke with said that checkout was at 11 and they could put a rush on cleaning a room and could store our luggage but couldn’t promise what time we could get into a room. I didn’t want to pay for a hotel for only 2 hours like we did three weeks ago. I called at least four other hotels and they either didn’t have rooms available early or if they did have them available they wouldn’t let us in them. We could have just sat in the public rooms of the ship for another few hours, but we were eager to move on to the next part of our day, whatever that would be, so we went ahead and left the ship, still not knowing exactly where we were going.

There were huge lines of people waiting for taxis and we were the only people who walked out of the cruise terminal with our luggage. I knew the bus stop was about a 10 minute walk away and it wasn’t too hard to find since there was really only one way to walk. The other way led into the ocean. As we were walking, we ran across a young woman who asked if we had just gotten off the ship. We said we had. She was very excited because she had just moved to Red Hook and when she woke up this morning there was this huge ship that she could see right outside her window. She said her friends had asked her if she could see the ocean from her apartment and she said no, but this morning she could see this huge ship. We chatted with her for a few minutes and I asked if we were headed in the right direction for the bus (we were) and then we continued on our way. The bus stop was easy to find. We had to wait about 20 minutes but it was a pleasant enough wait. I had the champagne in a shopping bag but it was heavy and kind of a pain in the ass and I had talked about giving it to someone and said to Mary, “We should have given to that girl!” (the one who just moved to Red Hook.) A few minutes later we saw her coming  back from looking at the cruise ship. We waved to each other and Mary said “I’ll go ask her if she wants the champagne.” She walked over and then came back looking a little distressed and said to me, “She’s sober one year. Perhaps it’s not the best idea to offer alcohol to strangers. She said thank you, though!”

The bus came and we paid with our Metro Card that we had saved from September and loaded another $10 onto three weeks ago. The bus was blissfully uncrowded which is really a bonus when you have a big suitcase. We got off right in front of the Brooklyn Tabernacle where families were arriving for church and then we walked a couple blocks to the subway and got on the C train heading into Manhattan. I still didn’t know if we would be able to get a hotel room and I was also looking into luggage storage and wondering if we should get off at Penn Station or Times Square. Eventually we decided on Times Square because we have come to know that area well and we decided to go to the Staybridge Suites and see what they could do for us.

The young woman at the front desk said that they had already had some checkouts and she could expedite cleanup and she was sure she could get us in a room before noon. “Do you ever drink champagne?” I asked her.  She seemed surprised by this question and wasn’t sure how to answer and I believe Mary explained that we had this bottle of champagne from the cruise ship that we wanted to give away. The young woman said, “Well, I wouldn’t go out of my way to buy champagne but if someone gave me some, I would certainly drink it.” I held up the bottle and she took it and seemed quite pleased with it. The easiest way to book the room was to book it on my phone and then give her my name and voila, there the reservation was on her computer. I gave her my credit card and she said she would call my cell phone when the room was ready, but meanwhile, since they were still serving breakfast she invited us to help ourselves, and then saluted us with her new bottle of champagne when we headed into the breakfast area. We chose to only have drinks since we’d already had breakfast on the ship and we sat down next to our first screaming child of the day. As the screaming got louder and more intense, we moved to another part of the lobby and busily began downloading podcasts onto our phones. The Staybridge Suites Time Square has very fast internet and that was very exciting after our week of very slow and limited internet. Within a half hour the young lady found us and handed us keys. I asked her if she had a newspaper and she handed me a Sunday New York Times and I said, “You are really making my day!”  (She was very cute. Perhaps I was flirting a tiny bit.)

Our room was on the 29th floor and had a really great view, much better than the view last time we stayed at the Staybridge Suites. We could see the river and also a basketball court that was far enough away that the people playing looked like little toy figures, but I enjoyed watching them play. We each had our own bed and I settled in with my New York Times and Mary called her mother to say Happy Mother’s Day. I forgot to mention yesterday that in the afternoon, while we were watching Pride and Prejudice, a Coast Guard helicopter landed on the ship to evacuate a patient who needed medical attention that the ship’s medical center could not provide. I thought this was a normal thing when people get sick at sea, and I was impressed, but I guess it’s not so normal, because Mary’s mother told us she had seen it on the news in Portland. I asked if she was worried that it was one of us but she was not worried because the news said it was a 39 year old male suffering heart and kidney failure. He was flown to a hospital in Boston. I hope he is okay.

Speaking of Pride and Prejudice, this morning in the King’s Court Buffet I saw the actor who played Mr. Bennett, and then as we got off the ship the man who played Mr. Darcy was right in front of us. I tapped him on the shoulder and told him we really enjoyed the performance and he said, “Thank you. I’m glad you enjoyed it.” Then as we went through immigration, which was very fast, we saw the rest of the actors waiting for Mr. Darcy, who, for some reason was being held up in immigration. I walked over to them and told them we really enjoyed the show and they seemed very pleased to hear it.

Okay, back to the Staybridge Suites. Around noon we got hungry and we knew exactly where to go for lunch. Mary wanted a slice from the dollar slice stand she loves on the corner of 9th Avenue and 40th Street. I wanted a salad and greek yogurt parfait from Au Bon Pain inside the Port Authority. First we got Mary’s slice – right before we ordered a man approached us and said, “If you could help me, I only want one thing: I want a slice of pizza.” “You want a slice of pizza?” I asked, because I often mishear things. “Yes,” he said.

“Alright then. We will get you a slice of pizza,” I said. “What kind do you want?” This seemed to surprise him and he said, “Pepperoni or mushroom.” Mary ordered two pepperonis and was told that her only choice was cheese, so that’s what she got and we handed the man his pizza and felt very good about ourselves, although really, how hard is it to buy a guy a dollar slice of pizza? Mary gobbled down her pizza pretty quickly, though she said it was not as good as last time. Then we headed to Au Bon Pain where I bought my lunch and then we went back to the hotel room and I ate there and continued reading my New York Times. It was a lovely day outside – I thought it was; Mary thought it rather muggy and unpleasant – and we were in New York and there were shows I wanted to see at both MOMA and The Met and we could even get tickets to a play if we wanted, but the truth was neither one of us really wanted to leave the hotel room. This felt wrong to me but I eventually convinced myself it was okay and we only left the room again to go get me a New York pretzel. On that outing there was a hotel employee down in the lobby playing the guitar and he did his Sammy Davis Jr. impression for us, and then, when Mary tipped him for storing our bags, he said he would serenade us as we left the hotel so we walked very slowly since we were at the door when he made that offer. He did follow us with his guitar onto the street and then he asked where we were going. He told us there was this great pizza place – “not the one on the corner, that one is disgusting. I mean it’s okay if you’re drunk” – that was his description of Mary’s beloved $1 slice stand! We didn’t take his pizza advice and went off to get my pretzel which was stale and disappointing but that did not stop me from eating the whole thing. And so we whiled away the afternoon and very soon it was time to head to the airport.

We had discussed whether to take a car, for around $80, or the subway/Airtrain for $15, and had decided on the subway, thinking it might be faster than a car and definitely cheaper – plus New York cab drivers mostly scare me. I think they drive a little crazy. We were a little later than we probably should have been leaving the hotel and it seemed to take forever for the E train to come and when it did come it came on the other side of the track, which was confusing, but a woman assured us it would get us to JFK. It turned out to be a local train which made it slower and then it was slower still because they were doing work on the tracks or the tunnels or something. I started to become very anxious about missing our flight. At one point Mary said, “I guess we should have taken this tunnel work into account when we were doing our planning” I said I had been unaware of tunnel work but she said, “Remember this morning how we went slowly through the tunnels and there were bright lights? That was because of tunnel work.” News to me, but she may have told me. This morning I said, “Oh look, that’s Governor’s Island!” and she said, “I just told you that two minutes ago.” She has been doing this to me for our entire relationship and she feels much better now that I am doing it to her too, though I find it a bit concerning.

We were late enough that in my anxiety I began behaving like a crazy woman and was treated like one by the employee who tried to help me when I was trying to figure out how to buy the AirTrain tickets, but in the end we had time to spare. I really like getting around using public transportation, but it has been a bit rough this trip every time we’ve done it. The worst is in New York where the majority of the subway stations are not accessible which means I have to carry my heavy suitcase up and down stairs. My back complains that it is way too old for this, and I mourn the passing of my youth. Well, my Jet Blue flight map tells me that we are over North Dakota right now. I think we will be home in a little over three hours. There are still things I haven’t written about, like my day in Portofino with my Dad and Iris, and our adventures in getting from Gatwick to the Staybridge Suites Vauxhall. I hope I might write about those things while they are still somewhat fresh in my mind, but it’s also very likely I will go back to the real world tomorrow and find I don’t make the time to write. We shall see.

Thanks to Sandra Sparks, Travel Agent Extraordinaire, we had $400 cruise credit for this cruise – translate: free money. We spent $89 on internet and Mary has been getting wine with dinner and bought a cute little clutch bag for $10 and two scarves for $7.50 each and I threw $16.80 away on the worst “pilates” class ever, but by yesterday evening we had quite a bit of cruise credit left over. So I decided to get a spa treatment. There was a special offered for today where you could choose three treatments of 20 minutes each for $129. I chose a foot and ankle massage, a neck and shoulder massage and a face pressure point massage. I also found a coupon in a book in our room for an additional 15 minutes, so I got a 75 minute massage for $129, which is a very good price for a cruise ship. The massage was excellent – there was a bit of a hard-sell afterwards of a “prescription” for me. My massage therapist wanted me to buy something to massage my feet for $60, some oil for dry skin for $50 and a ball to massage my shoulder blades for $40. I found the ball especially amazing since you can do the same thing with a tennis ball which costs a lot less than $40. I held my ground and did not purchase any of my “prescription” but I did tip generously.

After my massage I went into the spa area and spent a little time in the thassalotherapy pool and then the aromatic steam room, which was not aromatic, then the finnish sauna, then the cedar sauna. Both the steam room and the finnish sauna were set up so you couldn’t lie down, so my favorite was the cedar sauna. It was a very pleasant way to spend the morning. I was done about 11:45 and went back up to our stateroom in time to hear the Captain’s address on the tv. He warned us that there would be some of the three-letter F word on our approach into New York. I found mention of the F word quite confusing but eventually figured out he was referring to fog.

There was a bit of confusion with room service lunch which I had ordered the night before. It was supposed to come at 12:30; earlier in the week I ordered room service for 12:30 and it came at 12:45. So today I waited until 12:45 and then I called to check. They said they had never gotten the order. I said that was fine, I would just go up to the buffet. “Let me check with the restaurant and I’ll call you right back,” the room service guy said. I said okay, but it was late and I really just wanted to go to the buffet, because we had things to do! I waited about ten minutes and then Mary said we should just go so we did. I had to go back to the room to get my phone (because Google Fit counts my steps and I need to get credit for my walking) and just as I was leaving the room a second time I heard the phone ringing, but I kept going because there was no longer any time for us to wait for room service plus I was really hungry. But I felt a little guilty. Mary kept saying to me, “It’s not our problem that they screwed up the order.”

We had lunch and then went down to the Grand Lobby where there was a sing-along. They called it The Groovy Choir. Many people were participating, including Mary, and it was really fun. Next we went to the theater to see a performance of Pride and Prejudice by graduates of the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art. We were both a bit skeptical but it was really great and very funny. There were only six actors but most of them played multiple roles and were very good in their differing roles. The woman who played Jane Bennett also played Lady Catherine DeBurg and was so odious (and hilarious) as Lady Catherine and so charming as Jane.

The play was short, only an hour, and all that hard work sitting and watching made us hungry for tea. Usually we go up to the Buffet for our tea, but we thought we would try the tea in the Queens Room where there is a string quartet and table service. We shared a table with two women, one from Arizona and one from Denver, and talked about cruising with them. I enjoyed my scone but was never offered a second one or any of the other treats that I saw some other people had so we left the Queens Room and went up to the Buffet where I got a second scone and we went outside and sat on deck. I had some difficulty eating my scone because the wind was blowing my hair all over my face so I tied my hair up in my scarf and I believe I looked a bit like a crazy lady but I really didn’t care.

Last time we were on a cruise with a lot of cruise credit and we had some left over we waited until too late to spend it and I made a mad rush around the ship buying batteries and all the lotions and potions I could find at the spa. This time I wanted to have a little more time. We had about $50 left to play with after Mary bought two magnets, and she didn’t care about spending it so it was up to me to do the shopping spree. Here are the things I considered but ultimately did not buy: a novel by Karen Joy Fowler, a book on Origami and a book of Origami paper, a glass necklace, some Queen Mary t-shirts, some costume jewelry. What I did buy was a six pack of L’Occitane hand lotions for $48.  Mary’s response to this purchase was, “Oh no! How stinky are these going to be?” but I promised her that if they are stinky I will not use them in her presence. I really did want to get us some t-shirts but they had none in our size. Also I am hoping that Sandra, Travel Agent Extraordinaire, might like L’Occitane lotions because if she does I want to send her some to thank her for getting us all that fabulous cruise credit.

After my shopping spree I went back to the room and discovered my room service lunch. It looked quite good but who knew how long it had been sitting out, plus I had just had two scones. I felt quite guilty about it. I had assumed that if I didn’t answer the phone they wouldn’t deliver the lunch. I wanted to have one final walk on the promenade but Mary wanted to rest, so I walked my final mile around the promenade deck on my own. The seas were calm and there was little wind. It was the most pleasant walk of the week. We had our final dinner, which was quite good, and then we went to the Casino so Mary could throw away her winnings from blackjack. Now we are both packed and the ship is moving through very dense F word. We are listening to foghorns, which we both love. I do hope the fog clears by 5:50 tomorrow morning, though, when we are supposed to sail under the Verrazano Bridge and then past the Statue of Liberty. We plan to be out on deck for that and it would be shame to miss it.

That’s all for now. Time for bed since we are going to be up at the crack of dawn.

It’s our last day at sea, and a lovely one. For the first time, they’ve put the cushions out on the deck chairs on the promenade deck – the weather’s been too rough up until now. But today the seas and the wind are gentle, and the sky is (mostly) blue, and I can be out on deck without my scarf tied round my head to protect my ears. So I am sitting out in one of said deck chairs, watching the morning go by.

This is our second Cunard sailing. Our first, as some of our loyal readers might remember, was a 10 night Caribbean cruise in 2008. Our opinion of Cunard after that sailing was decidedly mixed, so I was curious what we would think after this one. However, this time my experience of Cunard was almost completely positive – even though I’d say they are no better at what they do, and in some areas might even be worse. So what’s the difference? The fact that this was a crossing, not a cruise with ports of call.

There are two ways that the crossing immeasurably improved the experience. The first is that, in our experience, what Cunard is worst at, by far, is getting people on and off the ship. So, on a crossing, they only had to do that once (and, as you might recall, do it badly). It remains to be seen how debarkation goes; I don’t have high hopes for it. But once on the ship, all has been lovely. On the last cruise, we were constantly hating people and their rude, awful behavior. Looking back, though, I can see that almost all of that was centered around getting on and off the ship; lining up for shore excursions, everyone coming back from excursions and heading to meals at the same time, etc. With port calls off the table, we all developed our own routines, and got in each others’ way very little. There was still the occasional rude encounter, but they were rare, rather than the rule. In fact, I didn’t hate anyone until last night, which is pretty impressive for me to not hate anybody until the penultimate night of a 7 night sailing!

While we’re on the topic of my anti-social behavior, may I take the opportunity to say that I’ve spoken maybe three words to anybody who isn’t Lis, and it’s been awesome! So much opportunity to just find your own space and hole up in your own head on a crossing. Which, I guess, leads me to the second way that a crossing improves the experience – day after day on a ship in the middle of the ocean is just so zen. On a regular cruise, most days there is a port call, and so a schedule of when to be off and when to get back on, and decisions to make about what to do and what to see. But on a crossing, there’s just the ocean, every day. The ship does provide daily activites, but not a lot, and I don’t do them, anyway (other than blackjack and cream tea, of course).

And so each day it’s just the ocean, which seems like it could be monotonous but is so changeable according to the weather and time of day and quality of light – I keep snapping photos, because each sea scape seems so different and amazing to me. The photos, of course, never really capture it, but I keep trying.

This is another benefit of being on the Queen Mary 2; she is a proper ocean liner, as opposed to a normal cruise ship. It means that she’s built for open waters – specifically, the open waters of the North Atlantic. Crossings in regular cruise ships normally happen farther south – Barcelona to Miami is a typical itinerary – because the weather is better. But, because we’re in a proper liner, we can take the more northerly route, and experience the rougher North Atlantic without being terrified or seasick. We had two storms on our crossing; the first one the second day out of Southhampton, the second one yesterday, and both were exciting to watch. We’d go down to the big windows on deck 2 and make little movies of the swells and spray – so fun, but never scary, as we knew QM2 was built for this.

And speaking of the storms – one thing I learned from my boyfriend’s daily briefing yesterday was the concept of “fetch”, which is the distance that you are from land. The greater (or longer?) the fetch, the higher the swells. This is because the farther you are from land, the more time the wind has to bunch up the water, and so the swells get bigger the longer (or higher?) the fetch. So, in our first storm, the winds were at an 8 (gale force) and the swells were very rough (8-9 meters), because we were 3000 miles from land. In our second storm, conversely, the winds were a stronger 9 (severe gale), but the swells were only rough (I don’t know how tall because my boyfriend never told us) – this, because of the lower (shorter?) fetch, as we were only 500 some miles from land. This is the kind of nerd fest that you can totally give yourself over to on a crossing.

So, anyway, even though I think Cunard has inconsistent food, and sometimes indifferent service, and an awful embarkation procedure, I would wholeheartedly recommend a crossing to anyone, as it is a total zen experience, you can feel like a real sailor, and the QM2 is a truly beautiful ship.

Tomorrow will be our last day at sea before arriving in New York early Sunday morning. What a painless way to get from Europe to the U.S! Today we had Severe Gale winds combined with rough seas. I wasn’t aware of this when I decided to write longhand for an hour this morning. I started feeling a bit seasick but wanted to continue what I was doing so I tried going out to the balcony and writing out there but it was COOOOLD. Tomorrow I will not sit down to write without checking the state of the seas first. Fortunately, I live with a person who constantly reports the weather, so all I really have to do is listen.

Both yesterday and today we dispensed with the restaurant altogether and had all of our meals in the Kings Court Buffet. It is incredibly freeing as the restaurant meals are long and drawn out and we would rather spend our time doing other things, like reading and listening to podcasts. This morning Albert came to clean our room about 11:30 and we have taken to leaving whenever he wants to clean the room so we went downstairs and sat in the Grand Lobby to experience something called Eight Bells that we have read about each day in the Daily Programme. It occurs at noon every day and my curious wife was curious about what it is. Here is what it is: there is a bell on the deck above the Grand Lobby and a man stands in front of the bell at noon and rings it eight times. There was a woman walking right below it as the bell was rung for the first time and I saw her jump and then look up and then walk away with a decided scowl on her face. (Note from Mary: the Eight Bells has a maritime history; something about a bell ringing every half hour and eight bells signifying the end of your four hour watch, or something. Why they now do all eight bells at once, at noon, I know not.)

Mary and I, of course, both loved the ceremony of the Eight Bells and after the eighth bell I saw that there was someone holding up some soft of proclamation in front of the bell. “Look, now he’s holding something up!” I said to Mary and I stood to get a better view. It turned out it was a woman holding up her iPad to take a picture of something. The Captain’s Announcement was supposed to follow the eight bells but he seemed a bit late and there was lots of noise in the Grand Lobby so I suggested to Mary that we move to another area of the ship where it would be quieter. We moved to the area outside the Illusions Theater where there are chairs lining the passageway and people sit there and watch the sea out of the big windows. I suggested that Mary film the swells while the Captain made his announcement, which she did, but a few people walked by talking very loudly and I heard a woman further down shushing them. I was impressed that someone else cared about the Captain’s Announcement as much as Mary. Once the announcement was over Mary said, “I couldn’t help shushing those people. In situations like that it just comes out of my mouth involuntarily.” So I guess Mary still takes the prize for the Captain’s biggest fan. (Although as far as I know she did not line up this afternoon at 3:30 to get something autographed by the Captain. Or maybe she did. I was at my book club.) (Note from Mary: Nope – I was busy giving back my blackjack winnings at that time)

After the Captain’s Announcement we went up to the Kings Court Buffet and I put together a salad and a little sandwich and ran back down to the room to watch a movie called About Time that was playing on the Drama Channel of the tv at 12:30 pm. I was in the mood for a movie and this was a not particularly great movie about a guy who can go back in time and redo things in his life. However, I enjoyed it. After the movie I showered and it was time for my book club meeting to discuss Elizabeth Is Missing. As I was leaving I said to Mary, “I only hope that it will not be as bad as the pilates class.” If you are a faithful reader you will know that I had concerns about how I would get my cream tea if the book club went until 4:30. Mary and I made a plan. I would go get her at … guess where … the casino at 4:15 and we would go get tea but if I wasn’t there by 4:15 she would go get tea and bring a scone back to the room for me. Up in the buffet they put out the scones along with big bowls of clotted cream and strawberry jam and the jam is a little subpar, in my opinion. This morning, though, I noticed that they had little jars of what looked like quality strawberry jam so I brought one up to the room to have with my tea. (The funny thing about my “tea” is that it’s all about the scone and cream and jam – sometimes there is no tea at all.)

But I’m getting ahead of myself. I went to my book club which was held in a room called the Boardroom which was a nice little room on Deck 9 that I had never seen. We were all women, about ten of us, probably 2/3 British and 1/3 American. Our leader, Victoria, is the Ship’s librarian, and considerably younger than any of the rest of us in our “club” that will only ever meet once. Victoria did a good job of leading the discussion which was very interesting. We talked about the book and about aging and dementia and caring for aging parents. I really enjoyed it. The book, as I may have said, is written in the point of view of an 82 year old woman suffering from dementia. She is taken care of by her daughter and granddaughter. Most of the women in the group strongly identified with the daughter and there was one woman who even disliked the main character and just couldn’t understand why she wasn’t in a “home.” There were a few conversations about the health care system in our various countries – the U.S., Britain and Sweden which is where one of the British women was initially from. Our young leader, who is from Crimea, said she had never heard of Alzheimer’s or Parkinsons before she read this book. (Since neither are mentioned in the book I assume she did some research after reading it.) One of the women conjectured that was just because Victoria is young, but Victoria said they do not talk about mental health issues in her country. I stayed at the book club until the very end and thought it was great that I could have this discussion with women of varying ages from a few different countries. Most book clubs I’ve been in there are people who haven’t read the book and the longer the book club goes on the less there is talk about the book, because everyone becomes friends and it becomes a social group more than a book club. So that was another reason I really liked this book club – we talked about the book.

At 4:30 I went back down to our stateroom and there was a scone waiting for me (Mary IS the best!) but no Mary and no note from Mary. I ate the scone with my superior jarred jam and then went in search of Mary. I did not find her but when I got back to the stateroom a second time she was out on our balcony sketching the sea and the clouds. It was almost time for the guest talent show which I was very curious about. Mary chose not to go so I went on my own. The main reason I wanted to see the talent show is that you tend to see the same people over and over again on a cruise ship and you make judgments about them (or at least Mary and I do) and I was curious to see what talents these people might have (or not.) There were seven or eight performances – all either singing or playing piano and all of them were quite good and seemed to be seasoned performers. One of the big crowd pleasers was a woman who looks like she could be 100 years old who belted out two songs, ending each one with a jazzy “Oh Yeah!” She got quite the ovation. She was good, but I’m pretty sure if she wasn’t so old she would not have gotten that ovation. However, given her age, it was amazing and inspiring that she was up there performing. I was thinking about the most recent talent show I saw, which was an excellent show by students in the Portland Public Schools – a “best of” kind of thing, and one of the crowd pleasers there was a group of kindergarteners doing a little dance and song – completely uncoordinated in both their movements and their song but oh so adorable. And it seems that as we age we revert back again and in today’s talent show it seemed like the oldest participant was also the most adorable and thus received a huge round of applause.

After the talent show I went back to the stateroom and Mary and I went out onto the Promenade Deck for our daily mile walk. This was the hardest one yet. When we first went out there Mary wanted to turn back because it was so windy she was afraid we might get blown off the ship. But I pointed out that her Captain closes the decks when it is dangerous and that there were other people walking. It was definitely our coldest walk of the cruise. The wind cut right through us and it did feel at certain places that we might get blown off the ship. Also, because of the wind blowing the seawater about, all the railings were covered with salt, and as we ran our hands along them our hands became coated in crystals. I was tempted to lick my hand but knowing how many other people have been running their hands along those railings I refrained. I told Mary that if she was blown overboard I would shout, “Man overboard,” and she thought I should say, “Human overboard,” but then changed her mind since Man overboard would be faster for me to shout. I also instructed her to throw herself to the ground if she felt herself being blown overboard. Fortunately she did not have to throw herself to the ground and I did not have to shout “Person overboard” and we both survived our mile.

We had dinner up in the King’s Court where we found a nice table next to a window. There were two other couples sitting near us and they were chatting with each other and we were eavesdropping, which we do quite a lot of. One of the couples was older and from Texas and the other was closer to our age (50s – we are no spring chickens ourselves). The woman in the older couple began by complaining about Cunard. This is very common and was also very common on our last Cunard cruise. Cunard advertises as a luxury cruise line and they are not luxury in any sense of the word so people have expectations that are quickly dashed once onboard. And, both the service and the food have gone downhill since we were last on Cunard in 2008. But we both had very low expectations for this cruise and are thus having a lovely time. Anyway, Mary thought the woman was being too negative about Cunard, and didn’t approve, but things got worse. Soon they were talking about Obama and about how Texas could secede from the U.S. and would have if so many Yankees and Mexicans hadn’t moved there. At this point Mary said, “I don’t think I can take this.” I suggested we move but she said, “No, it’s alright.” Then she got up to get more food while I held down the fort. I heard how Obama is causing the racism in our country and then on the subject of recent shootings the woman from Texas said, “If they come into my area, they’re going to get shot,” and the other woman high-fived her and Mary came back to the table and I said, “Let’s have dessert in the room.”

“Couldn’t take it anymore, huh?” Mary asked and I shared with her what I had overheard and then said, “We’re not really having dessert in the room. We’re just moving.” There was more but I’ll refrain from getting too political here. The conversation really depressed my girl and she felt that it was very bad form for them to be talking about politics when people are supposed to be enjoying their vacation. I pointed out that we were eavesdropping to which Mary replied, “How could you not hear them?” but she had to concede that if we talked to each other like normal couples we wouldn’t have heard. But where’s the fun in that?

When we got back to our room we discovered that we had been gifted with a coffee table hardcover book called “The Story of Cunard’s 175 Years” that must weigh five pounds and I wonder if I can fit it in my luggage. Mary certainly can’t as she packed everything into a 19 inch suitcase that is generally used for a weekend trip. As I type this, Mary has been leafing through the book and I’ve been enjoying the new book smell of it. And that’s all for now. Except that Mary is now $1.50 up, down $17.50 from yesterday’s $19.00 up.

MARY: Our fellow diners did totally harsh my buzz at dinner, it’s true. It wasn’t just the depressing political talk when I’m trying to be carefree on vacation, though that was bad enough. It’s that they were unrelentingly negative about everything – they hate Obama, they hate Cunard, they hate the ship, they don’t like Rome, where they’d been prior (too many tourists) – every subject that came up was savaged by them, which I found to be a downer. But, as my sweetie points out, I guess that’s what I get for choosing eavesdropping as my evening’s entertainment. Luckily there was a nice sunset to end the day, so I feel better.

This morning I woke up quite early and then earlier still because we turned the clock back an hour. (I am so disappointed that we don’t get to turn the clock back an hour tomorrow morning. I’ve really been enjoying these 25 hour days.) There was a pilates class at 9:15 am and since I regularly take pilates classes at home I thought I would try the ship’s pilates. I knew there was a good chance it would be bad – that’s my motto for this cruise: low expectations.  It was still quite early so I had time to go upstairs and get a bagel and my Greek yogurt. Yesterday, you may recall, I was given a smidgen of Greek yogurt. Today when I went to the Chef’s Galley and said, “Do you have some Greek Yogurt for me?” the gentleman behind the counter said, “Of course, Madam, would you hand me a bowl please?” I gave him a bowl and he asked how much I would like. I suggested five spoonfuls and he gave me a bowl with a lot of yogurt in it. “That is more than I gave you yesterday,” he said.

“Yes!” I agreed.

“You should have told me you wanted more!”

“But I didn’t know,” I explained. “I thought maybe that was all you had.”

“No,” he assured me. “From now on I will always give you that much!” I do love my own private secret Greek yogurt and I love it even more now that I get a good amount.

Note from Mary: I find it exceedingly odd that they bother to carry Greek yogurt, but don’t make it actually available to any but the most persistent Greek-yogurt-hunters like my girl…

A little after 9 I went down to the Knightsbridge Room on the first floor of the ship for the pilates class. There were a lot of people standing around the room, but no teacher. At around 9:20, a man came and said, “He’s on his way. There was a mixup about the room.” A few minutes later, the teacher arrived bearing a cart full of yoga mats. We each got a mat and arranged ourselves on the floor and then the teacher started counting the exercise balls in the room. There were 13 exercise balls and 14 students so he decided to go back up to the 7th floor to get one more exercise ball. Then he left us with some green forms to fill out. As soon as he left, one of the students, upon looking at the form and realizing this was not a free class, decided to leave, thus negating the need for our teacher to go get another ball, but it was too late. The green forms were for us to put our stateroom and our name and agree to pay $15 plus a 12.5% service charge for the class. Eventually the teacher came back with the additional ball and seemed quite confused that he now had one more ball than necessary (that is the general state of most of the staff on this ship: confused.) He spent a long time counting the green forms over and over again and then finally the class started, about 20 minutes late. The entire class was conducted using these balls (the big kind you can sit on) and it was insane. It started out okay with some sitting on the ball and doing a little bit of balancing, though the teacher never mentioned anything about core muscles – which I believe is kind of the main thing in pilates – and he never gave any guidance to anyone about how to get into positions.  Then he moved on to having people hold the ball between their feet and contort themselves into all sorts of crazy positions.

By “people” I mean everyone but me because there was no way I was going to do these things since I have two injuries I am dealing with. I spent almost the entire class lying on my back with my feet up on the ball, letting the movement of the ship rock the ball from side to side and I realized this was a very nice gentle movement for my hips. Still I was getting bored and listening to the people grunting around me as they attempted more and more crazy things and frequently crashed on to their mats was a little irritating. When the teacher had people attempt to do shoulder stands with the ball between their feet, someone’s ball fell on my face and jammed my glasses into my nose. You’d think that would be the worst part of the class, but the worst was when, after 45 minutes, the teacher noticed I wasn’t doing what everyone else was doing and asked if I was all right. I explained that I just had some injuries and couldn’t do what everyone else was doing, but I was fine. The teacher was not fine with that, though, and at one point, actually physically tried to put me in a position, so for the last ten minutes of the class I had to pretend to do the exercises, which wasn’t that hard to do because he wasn’t paying very detailed attention to anyone. Boy was I glad when that class was over. That’s 80 minutes of my life and $16.88 of free cruise credit that I will never get back. But at least I didn’t injure myself. I wonder how many people in that class are going to end up injured from some of the crazy stuff they were doing, which would be bad enough in any situation but even worse while the ship was moving all over the place, completely affecting their balance.

After “pilates” I got to go up to the King’s Court and get breakfast Part Two, some hardboiled eggs and sausage which I brought back to the room and had along with my delicious leftover Greek Yogurt.

We had room service lunch which was interrupted by Albert who wanted to clean the room. We asked if he could wait 10 minutes but he said he got off at 1:00 and since it was now 12:50, we vacated the room and I took the rest of my lunch upstairs to the buffet. At 2:00 I went to the Illusions theater to see a 3D film of London’s Royal Opera House doing Carmen. I was very excited when I saw this in the Daily Programme last night, mainly because Mary has always wanted to go to one of those presentations that they do occasionally at movie theaters and charge $20 or more for and I thought this would be a great opportunity. She was only slightly interested, though, and once she found out it was 3D she said she couldn’t do it because it might make her seasick. (Note from Mary: I was actually quite interested, and most disappointed to have to forego it, but I am prone to motion sickness and didn’t want to risk it – I’ve managed to avoid seasickness so far.) The program said the show would be 90 minutes with a 20 minute intermission, and then 60 more minutes.

This presented a very serious problem because cream tea is only served between 3:30 and 4:30 and by my calculations the show would get out at 5 and I would miss cream tea, which I have become very attached to. So I planned to just leave at intermission.

We were given an excellent program with some background, a synopsis, and the cast of characters and also were directed to select a pair of 3D glasses from a box labeled “Clean” though the glasses were beat up and decidedly not clean. I had a hard time at first with the 3D and felt a little seasick, but I put my seabands on and soon I was completely entranced by Carmen. Illusions is an excellent theater with a very large screen and surround sound. I really don’t think the 3D was necessary but it was cool once in while when a character would seem to step out into the audience. For most of the first part of the show I spent a bit of time debating with myself about whether I would stay for the second part and whether it would be okay if I missed my cream tea. But once the first half ended I was so taken with the show that there was no question that I was coming back for the second part. What I ended up doing was running like mad during the 20 minute intermission: to the bathroom, to our stateroom to put away my tablet, to the King’s Court to get a scone and spread it with clotted cream and jam, back to our stateroom to stash the scone in the frig, and then back to my seat with one minute to spare. Anyway, I loved the whole show. That is the first time I have ever seen a full opera and though I have always questioned why anyone would want to go to a movie theater to see opera, I totally get it now. The view is so much better than it would be if I were in an actual audience, and I really liked being able to see the actor’s faces close up.

After Carmen I went back to the stateroom and had my scone and then Mary and I went to the Promenade Deck and walked our daily mile and then it was time for dinner. After dinner we went to the Winter Garden where there was a band playing Dixieland Jazz, listened to that for awhile and then made our way back to the stateroom. Now I am going to pass the keyboard on to Mary who will tell you about her day.

Mary’s Day – My last few days have been decidedly less eventful than Lis’, because I’ve entered this zen state of doing very little. Yesterday I spent virtually the whole day listening to podcasts, which was wonderfully relaxing but not at all interesting to anyone outside my head. Today, while Lis was having her pilates adventure, I was in the cabin listening to music and doing a colored pencil sketch of a painting in the room that I like. Then, while Lis was discovering the joys of opera, I was sitting on a deck chair on the promenade deck, listening to music and watching the ocean. Both of these things made me joyously happy, but, again, are not very interesting to an outside observer. Though, I will say that listening to music while watching the ocean is very emotionally affecting for me, so sometimes I was in tears, and sometimes I was grinning like a maniac – I wonder if some of the promenade walkers thought I was having a psychotic break…

Another thing I have been intensely enjoying is the Captain’s briefing, which happens every day at noon. Our Captain has a cheerful British accent and a sprightly manner, and gives us all sorts of fascinating information about the topography of the sea floor, in addition to telling us about the weather and sea conditions we can expect. I’m going to try to remember to record one of these, because they are so awesome.

The less zen part of my shipboard routine takes place in the afternoon, where from about 3 to 5pm I do some combination of blackjack, cream tea, and promenade deck walk. It is pretty great, and I’m happy to report that I am now up $3.50. How I am loving this transatlantic crossing!

Yesterday morning the Captain warned us that we were heading into a storm, but it was still sunny and lovely at 6 pm so I thought maybe he was wrong. But I was wrong to doubt our Captain. We were awakened in the middle of the night by the rolling and pitching of the ship. It was a lot of movement and we both went back to sleep but at 6:30 were awake for good. I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned that we’ve been turning our clocks back an hour every morning. It is supposed to happen at 2 am but I wait until I am awake and then magically give us another hour, so now we were awake at 5:30 am. Mary was worried about getting seasick and headed up to the King’s Court Buffet to get a couple of bagels since eating actually helps with seasickness. It was so early, though, that they only had a few things out for continental breakfast. No bagels but she brought me back a couple of rolls and I ate them both and then went back to sleep until about 8. Then I showered and we went to breakfast. There is a grab bar in the shower and I had to use it a few times, but I managed not to kill myself while showering.

Before breakfast we walked down to the Computer area, called ConneXions, so I could get a planetarium ticket. This ship has a fabulous planetarium theater and three different shows that they run during the cruise. The tickets are handed out at 9 am each morning and the shows are usually sometime in the afternoon. Last time we were on this ship I loved the planetarium shows but you had to get tickets exactly at 9 am or they would be all gone and then there were long lines to get into the show with some people pushing and shoving. I didn’t even have any plans to go to the planetarium this time around, but this morning, experiencing the high swells, I figured most people would be too seasick to go to the show so I might as well give it a shot. I guess I was right because there were plenty of tickets available for all three shows, so I picked the latest one at 2 pm.

The seaswells were 8 to 9 meters, and the tv described the sea as Very Rough and said the winds were gale force. The area near where I got my planetarium ticket was on the 2nd floor and there are big windows there where you can sit and watch the sea. We are on the 5th floor and those 3 floors made a big difference. From our balcony the waves seemed big but not as big as they felt. From the 2nd floor, though, the waves were huge, with big cresting whitecaps. Walking was a bit of a challenge and a couple of times I was lifted off my feet for just a split-second, which I thought was actually kind of fun. Walking up or down stairs was quite difficult – I felt a little like an astronaut as my feet were not always on the ground.

By the time we got to breakfast I realized that I was very hungry and the movement of the ship, combined with my hunger, was making me feel a little bit ill. Mary and I both have seabands which we wear at the beginning of a cruise. They go around your wrists and there is a little button that presses against an acupressure point that combats nausea. They work really well, but are also fairly uncomfortable, and when Mary woke up this morning her right hand was completely swollen from the seaband. She took the seaband off that wrist, and now, 12 hours later, most of the edema is gone, but it was a little freaky and it frightened me a little. (I’m always convinced that something has gone terribly wrong when anything happens to either one of us.) So, this morning, when I began to feel a little odd, I had my seabands on but I knew I needed food quickly. I made my way to the Chef’s Galley, where they had promised me yesterday there would be Greek Yogurt for me. I asked for my specially hidden yogurt and the man behind the counter produced a bowl with about three teaspoons of Greek Yogurt in it. Oh well, at least I got some. It’s funny, because yesterday when I asked for some soy milk and said I just needed a tiny bit for my tea, I was brought a huge glass of soy milk, which I brought back to the room and put in our little refrigerator and then worried in the middle of the night that it must have spilled with all the turbulence. (It did not.)

After breakfast we came back to our room and stood out on the balcony and watched the swells for awhile. There were rainbows in the swells, something I’ve never seen before. I thought about trying to get a picture but was worried I might drop my phone in the water. But the swells were just so amazing that I finally did take a movie, gripping the phone very strongly, and in the movie you can actually see the rainbows. I won’t be able to post it until we are off the ship, but then I will put a link in here.

I’ve only been seasick once, but it wasn’t fun and I’d rather not repeat it. So I was a little worried about reading, which is all I want to do on this crossing. Mary suggested we watch a movie on tv, but I wasn’t really in the mood so I attempted reading and found out I was fine. I read and Mary listened to podcasts until lunchtime. Then we went to lunch and then I went with Mary to the casino and watched her play blackjack until it was time for my planetarium show. (Note from Mary: no $1 tables today, and after about an hour at the $3 dollar tables, I am down six dollars.) I had wondered if they would have new shows since it was seven years ago that we were on this ship, but it was a show that I had already seen, narrated by Tom Hanks. It didn’t matter that I had already seen it. It was just as fabulous as I remembered. We all reclined our seats and then watched as Tom took us on a voyage through the universe. The effect of the planetarium dome really makes you feel like you are in outer space – that along with the rocking of the ship. It also made me very sleepy. The show lasted only 20 minutes and then I went back to the room and collapsed onto my twin bed.

You may recall that I asked our room steward to put our beds together into a King. All the cruise ships I have ever been on have twin beds in the rooms and to turn them into a King they push the beds together, put a mattress topper on top, and use King sheets. Albert did push the two twins together but he didn’t turn them into a King. This irritated me as there is a big crack between the two beds, but Mary prefers it, probably because I woke her up in the middle of the night our last night in London by pinching her. In my defense, I was having a bad dream and thought I was fighting off an attacker. I will admit that it is kind of nice that we each have our own duvet so there is no fighting over the covers. I also asked Albert for one extra bath towel yesterday and his response to that was to take all the bath towels away. In the evening I mentioned that we didn’t seem to have any towels and he said, “Oh yeah, I forgot to give you towels.” Then he did leave towels but only two, so I have decided that two towels will be just fine.

In general, the staff on this ship do not do well with any requests that are out of the ordinary. They are easily thrown and since most of what we do is out of the ordinary, we are constantly throwing them. At meals, for example, we do not always order an appetizer. And, though I have requested non-dairy meals, I will often take a Dairy Digest pill and have a dessert. We have learned, though, that I have to sneak the dairy because the waiters get so alarmed. Last night Mary ordered some sort of souffle for dessert and I wanted to have a bite. I thought I was sneaking it, but the waiter came as I was holding it on my fork and practically shouted, “Madam! You are non-dairy!” He was so worried I’m surprised he didn’t knock the fork out of my hand. I tried to explain that I had pills I could take and I even showed him the pills, but he still seemed quite concerned. They come around with little petits fours after dinner and hold the tray and ask us to choose. Two nights in a row the waiter has asked me to choose and then said, “Madam! You are non-dairy!” so I’m a little confused about why he is asking me to choose, since I’m not allowed to actually eat them.

But I digress. Let’s go back to our stateroom after the planetarium show, when I was so sleepy and ready for a nap. Mary suggested that I nap for 30 minutes and then we go take our walk on the promenade deck. Earlier in the day the swells had been so high that all outdoor areas had been closed but the swells had receded to 5 to 6 meters and the seas were merely Rough, so the promenade deck was open again. I was so sleepy but we went out onto the deck and walked our mile. It took us 37 minutes to walk one mile due to the wind and the swells. I could see why they had closed the decks when the swells were bigger. It seemed like it would not have been that hard to be thrown off the ship. After a walk in the cold wind the best thing to do is to go inside and have a nice cream tea so that is what we did next. Then we went back to the room where I read and Mary listened to podcasts until dinner time. Both last night and tonight were formal nights and we basically traded clothes so the dress I wore tonight, Mary wore last night. Sandra (travel agent extraordinaire) had requested a table for two for us, because we really don’t enjoy being at a table full of people we don’t know and having to make conversation with them every night. We got a table for two – yay! – but it is right next to another table for two, with perhaps two inches between the two tables. Last night there was only a man seated at the table next to us and he talked with us a bit, mainly complaining about the food. He has what Mary calls a “supposed wife” but the wife stayed in the stateroom last night, and tonight we were happy to see that neither the man nor his supposed wife were present so we really got to talk only to each other. We don’t even do that much talking to each other. Last night we were given commerative menus to celebrate the 175th anniversary of Cunard and the menus contained about two and a half pages of the history of Cunard. We were both so happy to have something to read and we each read our menus thoroughly, though we did also discuss them so we’re not entirely unsocial.

For dinner tonight we both ordered Chateaubriande which was described as coming with a mushroom tart. The waiter asked how we would like our meat cooked and we both said medium rare. Last night Mary said medium and I said medium rare and we both got medium rare. Tonight when the dishes came out Mary got a beautiful medium rare chatebriande and I got something very well done that suspiciously resembled and tasted like pot roast. Fortunately, Mary had more meat than she could eat so I ate half of hers. I also surrepticiously ate half of her mushroom tart since I didn’t get one. We knew better than to put a little bit of it on my plate as that would be very alarming to the waiter. I was disappointed in my pot roast masquerading as Chateaubriande, but I will say my vegetables were very delicious. Note from Mary: the actual medium rare Chateaubriande was also very delicious.

Today at the casino there was some sort of promotion where if your first two cards in blackjack contained certain numbers you would get a raffle ticket. Mary got two raffle tickets. The winning ticket(s) will be chosen this evening at 10:15 in the casino so we are going to put our formal wear back on at 10:00ish and head to the casino to see if Mary is a winner. Stay tuned…
Update – we won nada.

We have sailed on the Queen Mary 2 once before, in 2008, on a Caribbean cruise, and I had lots of frustrations with the crowds and the people in general and just the fact that this is not a luxury cruise line like we are used to. So I decided to approach this voyage with very low expectations. I had only two hopes: that I would sleep well, as I usually do being rocked to sleep on a ship, and that maybe I would see a few movies. I was expecting the embarkation process to be a nightmare, so for me it actually wasn’t so bad. There was air conditioning and a chair to sit in and I amused myself listening to podcasts, the only bother being the man who smelled like hummus who kept wandering over to where we were sitting and looking out of the window. We had chosen chairs far away from the crowds of people and I noted that we seemed to have self-selected into the “Friends of Dorothy” section, seated in between two gay male couples. We also were sitting against the window that looked out onto the ship and the gangway so a lot of people began wandering our way and leaning towards us and peering out the window when the gangway became disconnected. I assume this was not a dramatic event – I missed it – I think people were just checking the progress of getting it hooked back up especially when it became clear there was no way we would be able to sail away at 4:30. I believe it took us three hours in all to get on the ship but I was listening to Terry Gross interview Toni Morrison, who at one point said something that Terry found so funny that she snorted – I love it when Terry Gross snorts – so I was perfectly happy.

Once on the ship we dumped our stuff in our room, and then went up to the buffet to get something to eat. I went for roast beef, yorkshire pudding and roasted potatoes – which were all a little subpar – and also chose a macaron – those pretty colored pastries with cream in the middle. I have always wanted to try one and never had and I enjoyed my macaron enough that I went and got another. While we were eating we perused the Daily Program. The movie playing in the planetarium was Selma, which I would really like to see, but I knew I was too tired to sit in a movie theater that evening. There are also movies playing on the television. There are three different channels: documentary, comedy, and drama, with a schedule of movies for each day. I thought it was kind of funny that the drama movie that started off our cruise was Captain Phillips. At least it wasn’t the Titanic or The Poseidon Adventure.

Mary and I started out together on deck. It was cold out there and we were dressed for it. I have a blue plaid shirt that is flannelly on the outside and polar fleece on the inside – quite warm – and I put that on and tied my windbreaker around my waist. It was a little after 5 pm, not yet 6:00 when one is supposed to get into nicer clothing, and as we were waiting for the elevator this woman came around the corner, saw me in my flannel plaid, did a double-take, and then quickly composed her face into a very disapproving look and continued to give me the stink-eye as we waited for the lift. I laughed and whispered to Mary that I was getting the stink-eye, but I did decide to retire my flannel shirt for the remainder of the cruise. Even though that woman had no manners, dirty looks are a bit wounding to my sensitive soul.

Once outside we were among our people again – dressed appropriately for the weather and excitedly running from place to place to snap pictures and point out things, many of us grinning like maniacs when the ships got close to each other. But I was weary and knew I could not stay out there as long as Mary so I went back to the room and took off my offending flannel and then went down to the dining room to introduce myself to our waiter and get the menus for the next day because I have requested dairy-free meals. Then I went up to the buffet and had a meal of penne pasta bolognese with some sort of olive roll and salad. For dessert I selected something that looked like a tiny little meringue with half a strawberry and some pineapple on it and I brought that and some ice water back to the room.

Back in the room I opened the door to our balcony and alternately unpacked and paused to look outside at the last bit of land we will see for a week. Around 7:30 our room steward, Albert, knocked on the door and was unable to hide his dismay that I was in the room, in my pajamas. He kept asking, “Did you change your dining time?” and did not seem reassured by my claim that we had not changed our dining time, but had decided not to eat in the restaurant that night. The beds had been made up as two twins, despite our travel agent’s request for one king, so I asked him if he could put the beds together but told him he didn’t need to do it that night. In fact, I said, we don’t really need anything. This seemed to upset him so I agreed with him that we needed turndown and tried to stay out of his way while he did his work.

Mary came back to the room eventually and about 9 pm I had my meringue treat which also turned out to have some cream in it and it was DIVINE! I love meringue and kept seeing these gigantic meringues while we were in London so on my last night I bought one and managed to eat close to half of it, but it was way too much. My little treat of last night was perfect!

I climbed into the nice soft bed, a real treat after the very hard bed we had in London, started reading the New York Times from April 22, which I carried with me to both Italy and London, and turned the light out at 10:30. We woke up around 8 am but got to turn the clocks back one hour as we will do tomorrow morning also, so it was only 7 am and I had had 9 1/2 hours of sleep!

In our everyday life, we have a morning routine which involves waking up, pulling out our tablets and reading our email and the news and doing general aimless web surfing before breakfast. We bought an internet package last night of 260 minutes for $89.95, which works out to approximately 20 minutes each a day. (Ususally you get 240 minutes for $89.95, but we got 20 extra minutes for signing up on the first day.) This is not high-speed internet. It is achingly slow, so I know all I will be able to do in that time is check my email and upload to the blog. In anticipation of this internet withdrawal I have loaded podcasts onto my phone and downloaded the two latest issues of the New Yorker onto my tablet, plus my Kindle is loaded full of books. So first thing this morning I started reading The New Yorker instead of aimlessly surfing the internet, and it was kind of nice!

Before breakfast I showered. The fixtures in the bathroom are old and don’t look particularly clean, though I think they probably are pretty clean. We were provided with two bath towels, not particularly big ones, so I left a note for Albert asking for one additional towel. Then we went upstairs to the Kings Court Buffet for breakfast. I love Greek Yogurt and fruit in the morning and I didn’t see any Greek Yogurt so I asked if they had any. The headwaiter told me they have to get it from way deep in the ship somewhere and they couldn’t have any for me today but starting tomorrow they will have it hidden away in the Chef’s Galley and I can ask for it each morning. For today I had hard boiled eggs and American bacon and sausage and a roll. I think it’s a pretty good brakfast spread. We wandered around the ship a bit, including going to the library and book store. There is going to be a book club meeting later in the cruise to discuss a novel called Elizabeth Is Missing. It sounded interesting so I asked about it and was able to borrow a copy from the library. Then we came back to the room which hadn’t been made up yet so the prudent thing to do was to crawl back into bed. I started reading my New Yorker again and propped the balcony door open so we could hear the surf and I was asleep by 10:30.

I woke up at noon when the ship’s horn blew and the Captain made his daily announcement. We can’t hear the announcement in our room, which is great, but we turned on the tv to the ship’s channel so we could hear what he had to say. He let us know that we are heading into some nasty weather, most of it overnight. Mary took a shower and we were almost ready to leave for lunch when poor Albert arrived to clean our room and was again disappointed to find us present. We told him we’d be leaving in 15 minutes, but Mary, who answered the door with a towel on her head, reported that he didn’t seem very happy. We had lunch in the dining room at a shared table, with a young British couple, Charlotte and Richard and two older men from Stockholm who said they were brothers.

One of the items on the dessert menu is Spotted Dick, which we knew is a British dessert but didn’t know exactly what it is. I asked Richard and Charlotte what it is, and Richard told us that it is like a sponge cake with raisins in a custard sauce and that it is a fairly heavy dessert. Both Mary and Richard ordered the spotted dick and then Mary asked him, “Is your spotted dick a good specimen?” Oh, that Mary! Richard looked a little taken aback but then answered her question and then I saw him suppressing a laugh and whispering to his wife.

After lunch we decided to take a walk around the promenade on deck 7 before the storms arrive. We walked three laps, which is equal to one mile. Cunard has changed their smoking policy since we were last on the ship. People are no longer allowed to smoke in their rooms or on their balconies, which is great, but now the smoking area is the outside back of the ship on Decks 7 and 8. This means that anyone walking or jogging around the promenade has to pass through a cloud of cigarette smoke every 1/3 of a mile, which is a bit unpleasant.

Mary has been wanting to play $1 blackjack ever since we were in Vegas and we found a place with a dollar table but she could never get a seat at that table. The Daily Program for today, though, advertised $1 blackjack at 3:30, so I followed Mary down to the casino and sat with her at the $1 Fun 21 table and watched her play for about 45 minutes until I was kicked out of my chair by someone who wanted to actually gamble and not just watch. The casino is now completely non-smoking and that was a nice surprise. When I left the casino I went up to the buffet and had a scone with clotted cream and jam, the treat I was denied as we searched for it our last day in London. I added a butterscotch chip cookie just for good measure. Mary got back to the room about 4:30. She reports that she was up while I was at the blackjack table but lost when I left. (So sweet, see how we’re meant to be together?) (Note from Mary: All true, but I doubled down on my last hand and hit it, so now I’m up 50 cents.)

Now we are back in our stateroom enjoying the movement of the ship, the sound of the waves, and the blue sky out our window. There is even sunshine on the balcony. This is heaven. This is why we love cruising.