We are in Juneau now, and I am lying in bed in our cabin surfing the web and recovering from a serious case of the cranks while Lis is out being shown real Alaska sights by a real Alaska resident (our friend Jeannie). How did this come to pass, you ask? Did we have a fight?
No, I just forgot the main rule of survival on a big mass market sailing like this, which is DON’T GO WHERE ALL THE PEOPLE ARE GOING! Seriously – don’t do it. Otherwise, before you know it, your joyous attitude from the morning’s ice viewing will be totally gone; you will be hating everybody and refusing to leave the ship.
It started innocently enough, when we went to the buffet for breakfast. We were still in the ice flo area, but we’d been up since 5:30 and were starving. But the buffet area has good views and so was crammed with people – Lis and I got separated, she couldn’t find me or a place to sit, and wisely headed back to our cabin and the fantastic ice viewing from our balcony. I, on the other hand, kept wandering the crowded cafe area looking for her (mistake #1). Eventually, I gave up and went back to the cabin, too, and we had another fantastic hour or so of ice viewing. (Recommendation: if you lie on your side, the icebergs going by start seeming like fish or rocket ships.)
By about 10:10am the ice was mostly done, but I was feeling a bit peckish, plus I’d read about a $10 merch sale at 10:15am. I said “I’m going to go get a cookie and then go check out the stores.” (mistake #2) We weren’t in port yet, so everybody was still on the ship, and the ice viewing had just stopped, so EVERYBODY (EVERYBODY!!) was out and about. After a crowded elevator ride and congested walk back to the cafe, I went to the cookie area (yes, there’s a cookie area, next to the ice cream area – we spend a lot of time in these areas…) and discovered that the cookies weren’t out yet! (DANG!). Now, at this point, I should have gone straight back to the cabin and ordered some cookies via room service. But instead, I fought my way on and off elevators and walked to every food venue on the whole darn ship in search of a flipping cookie (mistakes #3, 4, 5, etc…) In the course of this quest I also discovered that the store area was a nightmare zoo, but luckily I saw this from above, so was able to avoid the crush and thus didn’t actually have to elbow my way through it. Note from Lis: What I wisely chose to do from 10:10 until noon was sleep. If I had been more awake when Mary announced she was going to a $10 sale I would have tried to stop such craziness on her part.
FINALLY I gave up and went back to the room, but by then the damage was done. I tried to relax until lunch, and thought I felt better, but when we went back up it was crowded again and I was just SO GRUMPY! Our plan for the afternoon, made several weeks ago, was to call our friend Jeannie, who would come get us and take us to do some sight seeing. But now I was all “I don’t think I can do it. I don’t think I can bear to deal with the crowds getting on and off the ship.” Lis (and Jeannie, via text) were very gentle and understanding with me, and encouraged me to maybe just try it. I said OK, but if there’s a line I’m not going.
After lunch and a shower I felt better, and Lis and I headed out to meet Jeannie. There wasn’t a line, but it started raining just as we exited the ship. Oh, well – it wasn’t raining too hard. I was still OK. Then, as we were about to pass the last security guy, we saw him asking some returning people for their picture ID. We were both surprised to see this – that’s the whole point of the nightmare lines at embarkation, isn’t it? So you only have to show your cruise ID after that? We asked “Do we need picture ID to get back on the ship?” He said “You might.” I said “But I only have my cruise ID.” He said “That’s not a very good idea.”
I looked at Lis in dismay. She gave me a helpful, encouraging look and said “Just go get your ID – we’ll wait here for you.” I looked around – it was raining harder; one of our plans was to go for a walk. Final straw, placed – I simply couldn’t do it. I said “I’m just gonna go back in.” Lis, who looked disappointed, but who knows me, said OK.
On my way back in, after showing my cruise ID and then going through the security line (a tiny one – just one other guy), a young girl cruise employee offered me a cup of something from the tray of cups she was holding. I didn’t catch what she was offering, though, and asked her to repeat. She said “chicken soup?” I looked – it was a small paper cup half full of clear, warm chicken broth. How delightfully odd – and just what a grumpy old lady needed. I took my chicken soup and headed back to our room.
